Well here I am again, up at 12:30 in the morning, worrying myself to death over nothing. At least I think it's nothing. Why do I let these stupid images keep me up anyway? Why is part of me so sure that one of us will hurt the other? At least I'm getting better at self control. I didn't send you that e-mail, not yet anyway. At this rate I don't think it will matter but it's always better to reflect than act to implusively. I should know. All my impluses do is cause trouble. I try so hard not to think about it. I don't want to hurt you or vice versa. But all I see in my head is me with tears in my eyes. All I can see is you with that worried look on your face, asking me, "What's wrong?" Why can't I get that out of my head? Am I really so sure that will happen? I guess something must be wrong because that same image has been stuck in my head for nights on end. It feels like weeks. Maybe it has been. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like no one understands. Which I know isn't true, I hate that I'm so pessimistic. Even praying doesn't seem to help (even though I'm a Christian). Nothing will make this go away, at least it seems that way. All I can do is sit here and wait, wait until I stop imagining things. Or untiil these images come true. I can only hope that never happens. But given the frequency, I'm not so sure.